Wife of Congressman Lou Stokes paused career to be mother to four, full partner in his career
February 26, 1938 – October 30, 2021
OBITUARY
Jay Francis went on a blind date at Cleveland’s historic Karamu House [a “place of joyful gathering”] with Louis Stokes, a young lawyer with three children. In later years Jay would joke about her early skepticism — the date was arranged by Jay's dear friend Elmira Bullock and Louis's colleague Jay White — because Lou was an older man with three kids from a previous marriage. Nevertheless, she quickly fell in love with him, their shared drive, determination, and desire to make the world a more equitable place a vital complement to his charm. In 1960, at the age of 22, Jay married Louis at East Mt Zion Baptist Church and became stepmother to three young children. Two years later, confounding a medical prognosis that a childhood illness would leave her unable to bear a child, Jay gave birth to Lori, rounding out the new family unit.
Jay and Lou’s union, which lasted 55 years until his death in 2015, took the reserved but astute and dedicated woman all around the world. Despite her reluctance to be in the spotlight, Jay and Lou became a team — successfully campaigning for each of his 15 terms in Congress, attending every state dinner and political engagement and forming powerful relationships of her own with world leaders.
Jeanette “Jay” Stokes, wife and life partner of former Congressman and Civil Rights champion Louis Stokes, passed away peacefully in Cleveland Heights last night, October 30, 2021 at the age of 83.
Jay was born to parents Thomas and Allie on February 26, 1938 in Trenton, New Jersey. She grew up with her dear sister and best friend, Arline Dixon. When she was nine years old Jay was diagnosed with rheumatic and scarlet fever and confined to Rainbow Babies and Children Hospital at University Hospitals for two years.
Always determined, Jay went on to beat the illnesses — though she was told that she would be unable to have children of her own.
After graduating from John Hay High School, Jay attended the Cleveland Institute of Art and explored various career pursuits — taking a job with the Cleveland Board of Education, beginning a successful modeling career after completing courses at the Artha-Jon School of Modeling, and later teaching at the Earl Wheeler School of Modeling and the Billy Tilton Finishing School and Modeling Agency.
Wedding Day, 1960
Those pursuits were all truncated with her marriage and instant family, displaced by motherhood and growing duties as a spouse to a lawyer en route to becoming a nationally-known politician. Jay would go on to attend Democratic conventions around the country and accompany her husband on fact-finding congressional missions around the globe. From friendships with Presidents Lyndon B. Johnson and Jimmy Carter to audiences with Pope John Paul II, Jay carried out her role with the utmost grace and poise. Together, she and Lou — whom she lovingly called “Cap” — constituted a formidable pairing.
Jay was also a founding member of the Congressional Black Caucus Spouses organization which worked to enhance the conditions of minorities throughout the nation and was a member of the Congressional Club, which sponsored the First Ladies Luncheon in honor of the wife of the sitting President of the United States.
Jan and Lou Stokes on the Capitol steps, Washington DC
Jay dedicated her life to her husband and her children. They remember her fondly as a woman who wore many hats around the house. As her son Chuck remembers, she could pick up a screwdriver and measuring tape to repair something at home one minute, only to be dolled up and fashionable for an event that evening. Her daughter Shelley lovingly remembers her reading poetry and exploring the World Book Encyclopedia with them. Her daughter Angie remembers her detailed and exquisite decorating. Lastly, her daughter Lori affectionately remembers her beautiful writing and unending dedication as a mother, always her children’s biggest cheerleader. Their plight was her plight, their success was her success.
Meeting Pope John Paul II
When her children were old enough, Jay revisited her career and became a multi-million-dollar realtor with Long & Foster in Maryland — where she and Lou had a second residence because of his congressional career. She also was a field director for the Miss D.C./U.S.A. pageants.
Jay was the recipient of numerous awards. In 1979, she was selected by Hurray for Black Women as the Wife and Mother of the Year. In 1986 she was recognized for her role as a Member of the Board of Directors for the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation. In 1994 she was recognized by The Phillis Wheatley Association for her Years of Outstanding Community Service. In 1998 she was honored by General Mills Inc. for outstanding leadership in health education and in 2015, she was honored by Mt. Zion Church in Oakwood Village as an Amazing Woman of Courage.
She also had a quiet, reserved side. A talented artist, she also delighted in the simple pleasures, like spending time with her grandkids and listening to Johnny Mathis albums. She enjoyed bowling and trips to Martha’s Vineyard and St. Michaels.
Jeanette Stokes was many things to many people and dedicated her life to others. Above all else, she would describe herself as a loyal wife and mother.
In Congressman Stokes’ autobiography, The Gentleman from Ohio, finished days before his passing in 2015, he wrote: “To my beloved wife Jay, who has been the bedrock for me through all the years in all I was able to do. The best wife a man could have. In memory of the complete and fulfilled life she gave me.”
Jay is survived by her daughters Lori Stokes, Shelley Stokes-Hammond, Angela Stokes, her son Louis Charles Stokes and daughter-in-law Trudy Gallant-Stokes; her granddaughters Alexandra Thompson, Nicolette Stokes Thompson, Kelley Stokes, and Kimberly and grandsons Brett Hammond, Eric Hammond and Grant Hammond. She is also survived by her sister, Arline Dixon; nephews Edward “Chip” Dixon and Cordell Stokes, and niece Margaux Francis; and great-granddaughter Ava Hammond.
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Services
The family will receive visitors on Thursday, November 4 from 4p-7p at E. F. Boyd and Son Funeral Home, 2165 East 89 St. [44106].
The funeral will be November 5 at 1p at Boyd’s and will be livestreamed here. The wake will begin at 12:30p.
The family suggests in lieu of flowers that contributions in memory of Jay Stokes be made to the Alzheimer’s Association, 23215 Commerce Park, Beachwood, OH 44122-5803; Cleveland Clinic Hospice, Cleveland Clinic Foundation, P.O. Box 931517, Cleveland, OH 44193-1655; or University Hospitals Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital Division of Pediatric Cardiology, University Hospitals Institutional Relations and Development P.O. Box 94554 Cleveland, OH 44101-4554.
Updated with Service information Nov. 2, 2021 at 2142.
